After the honeymoon the terror begins to set in or it may be on a year delay. I mean, come on, the first year of marriage is centered on SEX and lots of it. It has become a standard joke to put in a penny for each time you have sex the first year of marriage and to take a penny out the following years you have sex in the marriage. No one is afraid of running out of pennies indicating there will be plenty of good red hot passionate spontaneous sex the first year of marriage then it's downhill from there.
But, for now lets stick with the first year of marriage - the new entity formed from two separate beings that are now one. We know what a new born is apt to go through the first year of life. Does a marriage go through the same thing? The one important thing to remember: Babies grow and change at an astounding pace.
Below data from http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/infant-development-9/stages-of-development
- Smile. Early on, it will be just to herself. But within three months, she’ll be smiling in response to your smiles and trying to get you to smile back at her.
- Raise her head and chest when on her tummy.
- Track objects with her eyes and gradually decrease eye crossing.
- Open and shut her hands and bring hands to her mouth.
- Grip objects in her hands.
- Take swipes at or reach for dangling objects, though she usually won’t be able to get them yet.
- Roll over from front to back or back to front. Front-to-back usually comes first.
- Babble, making sounds that can sound like real language.
- Reach out for and grab objects (watch out for your hair), and manipulate toys and other objects with her hands.
- Sit up with support and have great head control.
- During this time period, your baby may:
- Start to crawl. This can include scooting (propelling around on his bottom) or “army crawling” (dragging himself on his tummy by arms and legs), as well as standard crawling on hands and knees. Some babies never crawl, moving directly to from scooting to walking.
- Sit without support.
- Respond to familiar words like his name. He may also respond to “No” by briefly stopping and looking at you, and may start babbling "Mama" and "Dada."
- Clap and play games such as patty-cake and peekaboo.
- Learn to pull up to a standing position.
- Begin feeding herself. Babies at this developmental stage master the “pincer grasp“ -- meaning they can hold small objects such as O-shaped cereal between their thumb and forefinger.
- Cruise, or move around the room on her feet while holding onto the furniture.
- Say one or two words, and "Mama" and "Dada" become specific name for parents. The average is about three spoken words by the first birthday, but the range on this is enormous.
- Point at objects she wants in order to get your attention.
- Begin “pretend play” by copying you or using objects correctly, such as pretending to talk on the phone.
- Take her first steps. This usually happens right around one year, but it can vary greatly.
The infant itself is the star. It sees nothing to the left or right of itself at this time. It is completely involved with its own self. Kind of blissful if you think about it.
So in the anatomy of a marriage we have the two people joined as one who enjoys smiling, playing games, just learning how to use it's hands to reach, grasp, hold, point, and manipulate objects. The new 'marriage' is just now learning how to make sounds and form simple words. It does not yet know how to stand and walk. No real decisions are being made at this point.
For parents watching their babies in this time of growth is filled with joy. Parents do everything to help their kids cross the milestones of using hands, talking, and sitting up and we find in the married world; family and friends are reacting to the 'marriage' in the same way.
Our newly formed baby is own its way to walking after the honeymoon phase dies down and the infant stage is passed. What is in store for the marriage once infancy is mastered if it is.
What if the 'marriage' does not learn how to form words or identify commands? What if the 'marriage' does not learn how to track things with its eyes and follow along? What if the 'marriage' does not learn how to control and use its body parts correctly in this all important play stage? In the next post we will look at what happens when development in this stage does not go as it should.