LOVE RIHANNA STYLE

The twisted journey of love is hard enough. Constantly questioning does he or she love me back or in the same way, will it last, and why does love hurt with all it's insecurities and yet feel blissfully beautiful at the same time?

Now think of having all of these same feelings for some one who family, friends, and the world at large deems the WRONG person for legitimate reasons: he's married with children, he's abusive, he's a jailbird, etc., etc., etc.

Listening to the words of Rihanna's song "Stay" has to resonate with everyone in a 'shameful' 'guilt-ridden' full on love of the heart, spirit, and soul secret dying love affair with the WRONG person. There is no doubt the brain is in a state of utter confusion and despair.

                                                All along it was a fever
                                        A cold sweat hot-headed believer
                           I threw my hands in the air and said, "Show me something,"
                                     He said, "If you dare come a little closer."

                                 Round and around and around and around we go
                                Oh now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know

                                              Not really sure how to feel about it.
                                                  Something in the way you move
                                           Makes me feel like I can't live without you.
                                                     It takes me all the way.
                                                     I want you to stay

                                              It's not much of a life you're living
                                             It's not just something you take – it's given
                                        Round and around and around and around we go
                                    Oh now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know

                                              Not really sure how to feel about it.
                                                 Something in the way you move
                                         Makes me feel like I can't live without you.
                                                     It takes me all the way.
                                                        I want you to stay.

                                                     Ooh the reason I hold on
                                                 Ooh cause I need this hole gone
                        Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving
            Cause when you never see the light it's hard to know which one of us is caving

                                                Not really sure how to feel about it.
                                                 Something in the way you move
                                            Makes me feel like I can't live without you.

                                                    It takes me all the way.
                                                    I want you to stay, stay.
                                                     I want you to stay, oh.

Is there a person out there who cannot relate to the words of this song? If there is, consider yourself blessed.

When people tell you there are high points and low points in a marriage you can use the lyrics to this song because even in marriage there are times when YOU believe the person you love and took vows with is not now 'this' person filled with flaws and has let you down in ways that sometimes seem cruel and almost criminal. Now the ADVICE is to STAY at all costs - to make the marriage work. And yes, while there are good reasons to leave, memories of love tug at you; a relationship filled with hurt, with all it's insecurities and let downs; yet you feel blissfully loved at the high points, you now have to remember, at the same time?

Yes, all along love is a fever that makes you believe he or she is the one and it's love. You decide to take the chance and love them and then all the unexpected ugly rears it's head. Round and around you know what you cannot accept in the relationship: the cheating, he's married, he doesn't know how to communicate, and he just doesn't know how to love you the way you need him to.

The whispers in your own head becomes a pounding as everyone around you add to trying to tell your heart, spirit, and hormones you don't feel euphoria when you are in his presence and you just want HIM to stay until you can truly figure this thing out to the end even if it means hurting yourself and others.

You are not a fool, you know self inflicted wounds are about to occur along with hurting others around you you love and innocent people. But there is just something in the way he moves. That one simple thing that sends you to that place only you go - solo by yourself. That dark lonely place that makes you believe you cannot live without him.

What does a person do in this kind of bad love affair? Thankfully we have Rihanna to put this painful dilemma into words in a song for us. Even though my daughters hate me using YOLO (you only live once) I have to say it here.

Some people only get the chance to love once and become so battered and bruised from that first time burning love they build walls around their heart so they will never feel the pain of loving and losing again. The pain was too great without any reward. But to have loved and to have lost is a great reward. The adrenaline from insecurity and the butterflies and racing heart from just hearing their voice is a life experience worth experiencing at least once in your lifetime.

There is going to be that wrong man or woman in your life at one point or another unless you are that lucky one who gets it right the first time. And yes, abuse is the red line in the sand. But, there still can be that something about that WRONG person that makes you want to stay. For people on the outside looking in, you should know, being in that place of wanting to stay hurts like hell. But to have lived and loved someone Rihanna style with passion, pain, and confusion is an intoxicating, addicting poison filled with a blissfulness that rips a heart apart.

Bleeding Heart Flower

I am torn because I have loved someone Rihanna Style without the abuse, but so WRONG for me and made me feel the world was RIGHT when I was with him. I want to tell my daughters love can sometimes hurt without them ever having to actually experience that type of love. But I know they will somehow be robbed of something that in the long run will make them a stronger person who experienced an all consuming love that confused them and made them float on clouds at the same time.
The heart wants what it want. What a magnificent organ; so vital for life.