Money Talks

There are many Bible passages that have been misquoted over and over again and one Bible misquote I have heard often is: "The love of money is evil." We may say we see the damage the love of money has manifested in the lives of celebrities and everyday people we come into contact with in our lives. But, I still would like to clear up the misquote and set the record straight. "The love of money is the ROOT of ALL evil" 1 Timothy 6:10.

With the addition of the word 'root' and 'all' our perception of money should change and we should guard ourselves from the pitfalls that the love of money brings. Many people are in an uproar, not because they are dirt poor, but because they have decreased a level or two in their economic soundness. Anyone who tries to convince you that poverty is fun would probably benefit from some sort of professional counseling. But, when we allow our financial state to determine our amount of joy in life as a whole, then we must look at what defines our happiness.

While thinking about money and the way we depend upon it and use it, I wondered was there a difference in the way women used money and the way men used money. And the answer is a resounding yes. I found there are 5 top ways each sex use their money (after taking care of the basic necessities that are common to both sexes such as rent and food) and found the differences a little eye opening.

MEN: Men don’t spend, they invest. Men don’t want something, they need it. Theirs is a future-money orientation. Men are trained to fix and provide, so they view money as a means to capture and accumulate things to add more value.

Men will spend their money on investments, entertainment, women/online dating/love, hobbies and sports, and betting and gambling.

WOMEN: Women are trained to nurture and seek acceptance and so view money as a means to create a lifestyle. Women spend on things that enhance day-to-day living. Theirs is a now-money orientation. Women are the collectors of stuff and are taught that what they need to get through life is approval. They have to look good, act good and be good.

An average woman will spend 8.5 years of her life shopping. So you guessed it, shopping tops the list of how and where women spend their money. Next we have beauty, health and fitness, love/online dating, and funishings.

There you have it. Each of the sexes have distinct spending habits to which the marketing masses can target each of the sexes in specific ways. Our purchases are the fruit that are springing forth from the branches of a root. Remember the LOVE of money is the ROOT evidenced and so I ask does our purchases serve as an indicator of our EVIL? For the man would it be the deep need for more and more money and for the woman would it be the purchase of unending beauty?

With more and more money men become more and more powerful actually buying people's opinion and loyalty; obtaining the perfect trophy wife and trading her in when she no longer fits the bill. Men even become workaholics to the neglect of wife and children. Notice gambling creeps into the bootom of the list; a force of distruction.

With more money women spend countless thousands for the perfect nose, smile, breast, butt, tummy and the list goes on and on what a woman is willing to do to her body surgically to obtain the idea of youthful beauty. When a woman will inject a poison into her face in an effort not to have wrinkles; then you know just how important beauty is to her. Not only is she interested in being beautiful, she is interested in being surrounded in beauty. I have never ceased to be amazed at a group of women telling each other how many men they are dating and which bill the man is paying freeing up money to get her hair and nails done.

Well, I have not escaped that statistic of 8.5 years of shopping. I have a love of shoes and I have contributed to the millions the make-up industry pulls in yearly. We often want to be equal to men in all things. Do we want the men's top 5 to be ours? Do we want to trade an obsession for beauty with an obsession for status?

As a group (women) we are saying alot when we are not even giving a clear voice to a subject. Our spending habits speak for us and I do not know if we are purposefully driving what our voice is saying. As I said, businesses and services follow our spending trends and cater to those statistical needs. Our spending power influences society. Our use of money actually speaks volumes about our heart. We ask everyone to see us as a serious player in the world, but someone who is so focused on looks and overall appearances may not feel capable or worthy if she doesn't look just so. Is the fruit of our root beauty alone?

   

A Mother's Worth

With Mother's Day just around the corner, my thoughts began to turn to all of the things I do and have done for my children and family in general as a mother. I see all of the fuzzy feelings and tender hearted commercials trying to tell children what would be the perfect gift for mom. But is there an appropriate gift to give the one who gives their all.

I thought about Jesus and how he laid his life down for humanity so they could have a shot at eternal life. The giving of self so fully for others - others you have never met, yet was willing to die for. Moms are not up there with Jesus, but there is no other example of giving their all, including their life for someone they love, as a mother.

I must admit there are some terrible mothers out there. It isn't an easy job. but, even with their imperfections; their children love them deeply. So, for me to say 'there are some terrible moms' would be too flippant, judgemental, and down right horrible. So I separate the less than perfect mom, my category, from criminal moms.

I love listening to the commercials encouraging people to adopt. They target in on the fact that you do not have to be cool, a rocket scientist, or child psychologist to be a loving person willing to adopt a child needing to be loved.

I wanted to take the time to appreciate those who are in this institution of motherhood. Sometimes it is a thankless position of late hours and few seeable benefits. But, upon reflection it turns out to be filled with benefits. Nothing can ever compare to that first whiff of innocence-newness I inhaled the first time I held each of my daughters for the first time; that was priceless. All of the funny faces they made at new discoveries. The laughter that tickled my ears at the simplest of things they found to be hillarious and I had long ago took for granted. If I were offered millions for my mother memories, I would turn it down. So to all of the mothers out there; happy mother's day.

So how much is a stay-at-home parent's work really worth? According to Salary.com's 2010 Mother's Day Paycheck for Mom's Job, the time mothers spend performing 10 typical job functions would equate to an annual salary of $117,867 for a stay-at-home mom. Not too shabby eh?

Heather Chrudimsky states that a stay-at-home moms perform many necessary duties, have important responsibilities that serve as the glue in a family/household that keeps it together and running smoothly. Their duties don't run on a 9 to 5 schedule and there is no punch out time. Below is her listing of a mother's duties.

10. Administrative assistant: run errands, answer the phone, pay bills, fill out paperwork, organize and schedule activities,
9. Chef: whether it's breakfast, lunch or dinner. Cooking responsibilities are on the shoulders of the stay-at-home - all while taking care of the kids.
8. Tutor/teacher: Time to bring out the math, science, spelling, etc. skills back out. No matter what the age, homework help is a staple in a stay-at-home mom's day.
7. Chauffeur: Whether it's to school, choir, dance, sports practice, dentist, doctor, friend's house, park, grocery store, etc., stay-at-home moms spend just about as much time in their vehicle as a truck driver.
6. Daycare provider: Kiddos are obviously a stay-at-home mom's top priority. Making sure they are busy, safe and engaged is a constant.
5. Referee: Literally and figuratively. Children fight and it is the job of mom to make sure no one is hurt and lessons are learned.
4. Doctor/nurse: Band-aids, ointment and mommy kisses - nothing cures a boo-boo better.
3. Psychiatrist: Whether is it helping little ones understand their growing emotions or healing a first broken heart - mom is always there to offer a shoulder to cry on, and give advice of course.
2. Maid/homemaker: Just call them domestic divas - name the cleaning chore, stay-at-home moms have done it.
1. Family mascot/boss: Regardless of a faimly's makeup, moms are the family centerpiece, keeping the family together, making sure everything runs smoothly and keeping everyone happy.

Seems like mothers might need regular vacation time.

What ever you decide to give your mother for Mother's Day; expensive or not, make sure you smother her with 'thank yous' and 'love yous' because this is music to a mother's ears.

Silence is not always Golden

FIRST AFRICAN AMERICAN PRESIDENT.

Seems like the African American community would have a lot to say on this 21st century occurance, but there is a deafening silence.

We heard with loud voices the everyday American; not the academically elite or career government type, make their needs/demands known all the way to the steps of the capitol. This group was so outspoken and united in spirit and cause untill this grassroot group received their own name.

Time marched on from year one to year two of a never seen before presidency. Another group would come forth demanding to be heard on an issue that could destroy family and livelihood. The second large mass chorus of voices were those of the Hispanic community and those standing up for immigration rights. This group was what one may, if they were the risky type, call a sleeper cell.

The Hispanic population simmered for years underneath the radar of politicians. Soon census tabulations would show the increase of births and thus population of this ethnic group in America. I noticed, the increase and the forcasted first largest minority group by 2010 if not earlier pushing blacks to second place. For those not paying any attention, it occurred earlier and not later. Hispanics have made a large footprint in number and now have new political clout. If they spoke united, they could be heard because they now have voting power. Yes, there are some illegal immigrants, but there is still the power of friends of this ever growing group who are sympathetic to their plight as Americans. A majority of Americans will always root for the underdog. I have been that type of person in my daily life.

Now we are at year three and there are other voices booming across the wide world of the web. This group is the ever come lately group of women. Yes, a mistake was made. Some toes were stepped on; and when those toes are polished and often times in those totally unnecessary 5 inch heels; there should be some screaming or loud discourse going on don't you think?

All of the above groups demonstrating their vocal power before using their voting power have a bone to pick. I am not writing this to say whether it is right or wrong; I'm writing to say HEY there is a silence coming from the black community.

While Obama was running for president, I listened to male Christians try to convince me not to vote for Obama just because he was black and I was black. They said I should not "VOTE EMOTIONALLY." If my eyes did not say it, I finally did. Why do you and how dare you assume that I do not weigh the person running for president by his platform. I have voted several times prior to the first black man on top of the democratic ballot election and if no one cared how I picked my candidate then, why now? I guess in all other elections I was allowed the benefit of doubt trusted on my own to use some kind of reasoning other than the color of their tie to choose who received my vote. Why all of a sudden was I being told to leave emotion at home. Studies show candidates are voted for out of some type of emotion: he will save us, he is the kind of guy you would like to have a beer with, he's just like the everyday person, he fought bravely for our country, etc. Researchers will even tell you, handsome candidates win.

Needless to say, votes were cast, and people other than people sharing his skin color voted and elected Obama president. And now to the not so golden silence.

Where are the voices of pride in the black community? A drug free, never convicted, college educated, married man, loving father, great personality, critical thinker, team player, constitutional law expert is president. This is an example we can point to and tell our children "You can go to college, you can get married and stay married, you can raise your children in your own home, you can retain all of your blackness and still be a viable contributer to your community and nation at large."

The dreams may not be the same, but there is not one thing stopping you from having a dream and moving in the direction of that dream.

We see on a national scale that Obama is having a bumpier ride than most presidents. Some say it is racism some say it is just the discomfort of the economic down turn. But, there have been obstacles for black people and let's face it, that may never change. But, once aagain we see an example of perseverence in President Obama. If he is angered by less than enthusisatic detractors-he marches on still being true to the office he has been appointed to. He has been called names by bullies because that is what bullies do. When the dust settles, they will still be bullies waiting for fresh meat while history books across the world will write about the presidency of Obama. Some wanted the president to get angry to get tough; attributes the balck man have been stereotyped as for centuries. Attributes Obama has demonstrated are a choice not a genetic condition.

This is not about policy or politics. I don't care who you voted for. But not to stand up and cheer that Obama, his wife, and children have finally, visibly shaken the foundation of the stereotype of the 'black person' is worth giving voice to. A politcal commentator said "Obama's presidency is showing us in America and around the world - if this black man is not good enough- than what black man is?" I hope there will be other black people to answer this question. I hope the treatment of this president does not deter the black community from entering other positions of power and status. I hope the BLACK VOICE WILL NOT BE SILENCED.

And as for me, I salute you President Obama for showing our black men that success is not the car you drive, how many women you have, or whether you are shown proper hood respect. Success is mapping out your life, being the best person you can be, working the extra time to go the extra distance, realizing a good woman by your side is an asset and how you treat her is part of your character, and finally realizing what has been true as long as there has been a world: not everyone is going to like/love you, no one is going to make life easy for you, there will be failures and there will be successes, but what is yours, truly yours, no one can take away from you; it will always be part of your make up. This is true no matter your color, race, sex, or political leaning. 

*********A side note********* If you do not believe the first woman president (Hillary Clinton) would not have been disrespected as the first female president, then I need you to keep reading my spin on the world in my past and upcoming blogs. Reminded of the song: It's a Man's World but every man needs a good woman or a girl.