Spring has sprung and so have I.

Well, the plants are in bloom and the wasps and flies are annoying. I see little signs of birth in the big bellies of Wal-mart and in the shoots of plants returning for another season. Have you ever noticed how many pregnant women are around in the spring? I have and I always smile about it.

The children were squealing with excitement with the hopping of the bunny. I even wore a hat this year to church. Oh, what a sight I was. I sold one of my books which I am always happy to do. And I made the decision to not attend preaching at my church anymore.

I am the Sunday School teacher and so is my husband. I teach the kids which I love with a passion and my husband teaches the adults. We have been going through some rocky ugly patches that were and are damaging to the image of our Lord. I finally felt within myself that I could no longer support what is going on there. What does one do when they do not agree with the leadership of an organization? I am in a church where the pastor is ruler supreme and cannot be questioned or offered any suggestions. The congregation is an abused wife. I know better and yet I stay.

I love all of the members there including the pastor, assistant pastor, new pastor, leaving youth pastor, and missionary of our 20 plus congregation but spiritual assassination is taking place there. Just like the media is asking Obama why did he stay, I can say it is bigger than just the pastor and message. But, just like Obama should have left his church, I should go too. Because people will ask me the same question under different context (we are the milk congregation that can not handle meat according to the pulpit) of why have I stayed.

No growth is blamed on the members and the ministers will not even look at themselves and what is being offered. The same people go every week for the same altar call or else will be eyeballed for disobedience. I feel like a slave that is about to run away. I know that the others are going to turn on me for causing things to be worse for them. The punishment, if caught will be severe. But I honestly must answer "I do not agree with the pulpit message and the direction of the church."

If I am asked to leave completely I will do so without any words being exchanged of hostility. When I joined the church there were 6 members, 4 of which have died off. The Youth Pastor brought a ray of hope and change, but sadly enough he has bit the dust and is leaving dodge a wounded scarred man. The mood has gone down considerably. We left hope and now we are back being resigned to our plight of abuse. I don't think the congregation will ever have hope again. The number of 20-36 bodies on Sunday will slowly go back to 7-10. the once weekly preaching will return to twice a month. The middle age men will nod off during the service, the women will bite their fingernails and spit them out unnoticed, and the little children will be passing licks and sniggling at the the men almost falling off of the benches. At the end of the sermon (I use the term loosely) they will all corral around the alter; staring blankly at the floor in a vacant stare as they ask for forgiveness in mumbles for whatever was preached. Then church is over the fake hugs exchanged and back to the world unprepared for warfare.

Are you depressed yet? You should be. I can not pretend that this is God and sit around so as to not hurt any one's feelings. MY feelings are hurt looking and participating in this zombie-ish existence. I am SPRUNG. I am out of there after Sunday School. I know people won't like me (they really don't already) but I must.

I wish I could ask all of the people in the churches to raise their hands if they are on MILK. I think it is the pastors that are on milk.

Upcoming book presentations

Keep an eye out for future book signing dates. I have set up appearances at Flora Public Library, Grenada Public Library, and Byrum Public Library in the upcoming mont of April. Official dates will be given soon.

If anyone is interested in some press release information for their garden clubs to review or for their book club to review just go to Amazon.com and type in "Diary of a Wannabe Gardener" and click on information or e-mail me using the e-mail address to the left of this blog in red for personal press information.

I appreciate your interest and the book is a good Easter and Mother's Day gift.

Take Chances!!

When was the last time that you decided to "Just do it?"

Well, I am throwing caution to the wind and setting out plants in my garden before Easter and I have scheduled my first seminar.

Both are scary adventures. I have to stay tuned to the weather channel for unexpected cold fronts and I have to pass out flyers and personal invites and hope that some one attends my seminar. Many people say 'Oh, I would love a flower garden like yours' and many people say 'I would love to take some classes on the Bible.' Well, I'm taking people at their word knowing that no one will do anything beyond wishing or they would have it already.

That brings things back to me. I planted a flower garden when people told me that nothing would grow in my yard. I have had many failures but the successes have drawn praises. Now I embark on my seminars. No one as of yet has said that I can not do it. But, I know it will be difficult in my area. I will have many failures I know, but I hope to focus on the successes.

Hurray for me, the Washington Times published the interview they did with me on March 11, 2008.

The title of my seminar: Genesis; the untimely beginning.

Wish me luck and support me in prayer. I am excited and anxious about the turnout all at the same time. It will be April30-May 2, 2008 at 6:30-8:00 p.m. Kosciusko, MS.

Obama Drama!

Wow! He's in trouble. There is nothing nice that you can say about his pastor. I am shocked that a pastor went that far in the pulpit. What was the congregation Amening? I did not hear any Gospel or the Cross going on. I feel so bad for Obama. But association and silence in a church does have its consequences. Many people say wait out a bad pastor or the divisive elderly (sorry, but old folks cause a lot of problems in the church and get away with it by playing the "I'm old and about to die card."), but is that what religion, Christianity is truly about. Think how off message so many churches are and try to understand it is a lack of courage of its members ( in Godly love) to say "What on the earth does this have to do with Jesus?"

All of that said, here comes the other shoe. In my religious or even I dare say black experience, I am constantly told by a white person that their uncle, grandfather, or cousin bubba does not like black people but "I am the only different one in my family" and I am trying so hard to get them to change.

This is what I hear: I am trying so hard to get a family member to recognize you and your people as human and not some jungle animal to shun. I don't have any problem with your kind because guess what? I discovered through an enlightened breaking away from my family that YOU ARE O.K. regardless of all the things I have heard.

White Christians: The old people in the church make me so mad. They don't want any blacks in the church. We tell them where do you think Christian blacks are going when they die. I don't know what they could be thinking. We want blacks in our church but the older generation won't give in. We just keep on praying.

This is what I hear: Even God himself can't make white Christians associate with blacks. So, we just keep telling you blacks to understand. We are not racist in our church, it's just the old people's ways. Its hard for them to change from not wanting to be around blacks.

WOW! Is right. Can you imagine someone telling you these things in a caring gentle voice like it is something nice to hear? I always smile and say "But thank YOU for considering me a human." No I don't say that but I smile and nod through the whole speech not really paying attention because I've heard it so much. How can anyone not know that what they were saying is offensive and should not be repeated to anyone. It is just re-telling hate stories. I could never feel good after someone just explained how they have tried and failed to get family members to like my race and they refused. HORRIBLE ISN'T IT.

I said all of the above to say this. I never tell a white person the horrible things that black people say about them. YES! Black people say horrible things about white people too. The stuff that Obama's pastor said is said or thought of by many in the black community. No one walks up to a white person and says: "I have a grandfather, uncle or cousin named Lil'man that don't want whites in the church. I am different. You all are just like us. The times just haven't caught up with my grandad no matter how I try to tell him that whites are o.k. So, you can't come to my church."

How would a white person like to hear an update on how it is going on convincing family member not to hate them? Absolutely insensitive.

So, where do we go from here? I don't know. Bitterness is not the answer. Reverse discrimination is not the answer. A blind eye is not the answer. We all have come a long way, but we are not there yet. There are times I am fearful that I won't be seen as a human entity. It happened before in history, what is the "THING" that is keeping it from happening again because I don't believe that it is people? We all are still filled with too much hate about this or that or the other thing.

Obama is in a bad predicament now. But I hope fear on the white or the black side is not sparked, but dialogue of where to go from here.

Things that make me angry!!!!!!

If I was able to make a list of things that upset me it would be something like this:

1. FOX News: There is no spin because it is all mean, divisive, brainwashing, calculted fabrication and twisting of words and deeds. But, do I watch it religiously? You bet. It is like a car wreck, I just can't believe the destruction and injury right in front of me. It is shocking and sad at the same time. I also want to know what dangerous people are thinking and talking about. When the media can rouse people to do unethical things (vote to throw a particular party into a fighting frenzy) that is mind control and manipulation for a bad motive. What happen to people being decent just because.


2. People that think everything they say and do are right: I had someone ask me how I was going to vote and then they preceeded to act superior to me for their choice. IGNORANCE runs rampant during voting season. No one is that RIGHT all of the time.

3. Sexism: As a Christian woman, it has become apparent that any defense that I present in regards to women and religion is called Feminist Theology. Take some of this: I am a perfectly formed woman that God (not Satan) gave a functioning brain that enjoys the Bible, Salvation, etc., and I am not afraid to open my mouth and witness, preach, teach, counsel, anyone in need. That is that and I don't care how you label it. To be a Christian requires ACTION and oh, boy am I active!!!!

4. Mean/Hateful/Wounded Christians: The same advise that doctors are given should apply to Christians "Physician, heal thyself." You get the picture. There is no place in the love of Christianity for hateful, hypocritical Christians that are faking joy in the public realm and are a nightmare to their family and bosses. GET SOME JOY. Get in relationship WITH God!!!

5. My old self: I have spent a lot of years somehow focused on doing what was right and expected of me and not doing a thing that I wanted to do. Move over world. I am going for the absolutely crazy things that I want to do and you don't have to like it, agree with it, or approve it. Get all of the labels out and dust them off. I am on a mission to be ME and enjoy it. Look out for more books from me, public speaking, seminars, and my title as Professor.

Politics? i don't think so.

How are you today. The guy in the picture to the left is from the reality t.v. show "I Love New York. He made it to the VIP section somehow. His name on the show was "Pretty."

I shook hands with Barack Obama and he was actually too close for me to get a decent picture.

I had an amazing Monday night. I was in with the in crowd. Representative Benny Thompson introduced Barack Obama

and the older gentleman is Mr. Henry Evers (his family's last name is now part of the Jackson-Evers International Airport).

Hey, it's good to be me. I had a young lady question me about my decision to vote for a particular candidate she seemed absolutely offended at who I was voting for. Oh well, no one can strong arm me into voting for any particular candidate. Too many people have died for me to be able to choose.

The Washington Times Magazine interviewed me. I will be on the lookout for the article.

Another day another chance

Well, I was not happy that Obama did not show last week, but I have another chance to see him and hear if his speeches are as good as people say. He will be in Jackson, MS. on Monday.

Hillary empressed me and I know he will do the same. There are so many people with their own personal agendas. How can any one candidate be all things to everybody? Where do we say "He/she is enough and good?"

As a Christian, I put all of my faith in God and not in politics. The main criteria for any politiacian is to be a good liar with good intentions. That is not cynacism, but truth. A true Christian is a poor politiacian.

Anyway, Mississippi votes on the 11th and I am a delegate. I plan to cast my vote but I won't say for who.

Another fascinating tid-bit: It snowed at my house and I loved every minute of it. It usually does not snow in MS, but Friday we had snow!!

Keep an eye out for pictures on this site. Give me a shout out every once and a while to let me know there is life out there. For my gardening buddies, gardening posts will soonbe coming as the voting frenzy/activity subsides.

Hillary and me!!!

Guess Who?

That lady with the crown is Miss Mississippi Kimberly Morgan. She sang absolutely beautifully. The gray haired beauty is the first black female House of Representative member and she loves Alcorn State University. That little scribble is a personal autograph with my name from Senator Clinton and yes Secrect service took a picture of me and the democratic runner for Pres. I was bold and out of control. I was the only such person with a picture like that.

I know you are wondering what I could have been whispering in the Senator's ear. But the question is: What would you whisper in her ear if you had the chance?

The food was bar-b-que plates and catfish plates. I wangled both. I had a wonderful time in Canton with fellow people involved in the process.

Obama did not show but will be in Jackson, Ms on Monday and if there is any way to get a pic with him I will try.

Hillary spoke to us and the line I enjoyed most was: " They say already that Mississippi is for Obama, but I want you to know that I am for Mississippi." Smoooooothe.

"My husband Bill will be in Tupelo tomorrow (birthplace of Elvis), I don't know, but the word is that Elvis will be there too." Funnnnnnnny.

I don't care who you vote for, JUST VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I dine with kings!

O.K. I exaggerated.

This coming Friday I will be at a fundraiser. Guest of the event: Barak Obama and Hillary Clinton. Yes, I will be close to the historical event as one can get. Democrates out in force all spit shined and I will be the lady in red.

Of course when I told my mother of my plans the first thing that came to her mind was Obama + Mississippi = gunshots. My daughter there; not good.

Every black in Mississippi needs to be on something for anxiety. Visions of the clan rising up is too close for comfort for them. I don't care that white people of the north are saying that those are the old days. For Mississippians, it can quickly become not the olden days but "we're back in white sheets again days" and we know all of the people waiting to done those sheets by name and by flag and lawn jockey.

Talk about cutting tension with a knife. You can cut the hopeful anticipation of the segregation wishes with a knife. Oh, you know its the truth, so close your opened in astonishment mouth.

Let me make it clear I am a Christian and I am going to my grave loving every one. But that doesn't mean that every one loves me. I don't practice black on white racism and don't like any one that does. But the fact is that this election will seperate the truth from fiction and I really don't want to find out the truth, but I am also unwilling to stick my head in the sand and pretend that there are some fearful blacks wishing that this election had different people running for office.

I can almost hear what the old folks use to say "Why won't that old Obama let sleeping dogs lie?" Just like it is his fault that America still have racial skeletons.

Keep a prayer in your heart for me for my safety and I can't tell you how happy I am to be living history for a change instead of just reading about it. And my part in this historical time is to show "love."