Spring has sprung and so have I.

Well, the plants are in bloom and the wasps and flies are annoying. I see little signs of birth in the big bellies of Wal-mart and in the shoots of plants returning for another season. Have you ever noticed how many pregnant women are around in the spring? I have and I always smile about it.

The children were squealing with excitement with the hopping of the bunny. I even wore a hat this year to church. Oh, what a sight I was. I sold one of my books which I am always happy to do. And I made the decision to not attend preaching at my church anymore.

I am the Sunday School teacher and so is my husband. I teach the kids which I love with a passion and my husband teaches the adults. We have been going through some rocky ugly patches that were and are damaging to the image of our Lord. I finally felt within myself that I could no longer support what is going on there. What does one do when they do not agree with the leadership of an organization? I am in a church where the pastor is ruler supreme and cannot be questioned or offered any suggestions. The congregation is an abused wife. I know better and yet I stay.

I love all of the members there including the pastor, assistant pastor, new pastor, leaving youth pastor, and missionary of our 20 plus congregation but spiritual assassination is taking place there. Just like the media is asking Obama why did he stay, I can say it is bigger than just the pastor and message. But, just like Obama should have left his church, I should go too. Because people will ask me the same question under different context (we are the milk congregation that can not handle meat according to the pulpit) of why have I stayed.

No growth is blamed on the members and the ministers will not even look at themselves and what is being offered. The same people go every week for the same altar call or else will be eyeballed for disobedience. I feel like a slave that is about to run away. I know that the others are going to turn on me for causing things to be worse for them. The punishment, if caught will be severe. But I honestly must answer "I do not agree with the pulpit message and the direction of the church."

If I am asked to leave completely I will do so without any words being exchanged of hostility. When I joined the church there were 6 members, 4 of which have died off. The Youth Pastor brought a ray of hope and change, but sadly enough he has bit the dust and is leaving dodge a wounded scarred man. The mood has gone down considerably. We left hope and now we are back being resigned to our plight of abuse. I don't think the congregation will ever have hope again. The number of 20-36 bodies on Sunday will slowly go back to 7-10. the once weekly preaching will return to twice a month. The middle age men will nod off during the service, the women will bite their fingernails and spit them out unnoticed, and the little children will be passing licks and sniggling at the the men almost falling off of the benches. At the end of the sermon (I use the term loosely) they will all corral around the alter; staring blankly at the floor in a vacant stare as they ask for forgiveness in mumbles for whatever was preached. Then church is over the fake hugs exchanged and back to the world unprepared for warfare.

Are you depressed yet? You should be. I can not pretend that this is God and sit around so as to not hurt any one's feelings. MY feelings are hurt looking and participating in this zombie-ish existence. I am SPRUNG. I am out of there after Sunday School. I know people won't like me (they really don't already) but I must.

I wish I could ask all of the people in the churches to raise their hands if they are on MILK. I think it is the pastors that are on milk.