Most people will try anything to get an upper hand on life. Some resort to astrology to find out how they can better be in control of an unknowable day. Control has been the issue for man throughout history; trying to figure out how to live in a chaotic world. Man perfected the invention of gods that could be coaxed by spells and rituals into doing favorable deeds for him, making him feel more secure and in control. To this unobtainable goal of gaining control of life comes one more tool: understanding one's birth order. I happen to be the "baby" of the family and find the attributes given to "babies" of the family suit me perfectly. I want to share what the scientist have to say about the first born, middle, and baby child of families in three installments.
OLDEST CHILD:
The two factors that owe personality traits to first-born children are: Mom and Dad.
Brand new parents tend to be overprotective, anxious, tentative, and inconsistent on one side and strict in discipline, demanding, always pushing and encouraging more and better performance on the other side. The "first" child is the guinea pig as Mom and Dad try to learn the fine art of parenting.
For the first-born, life is real and life is earnest. He or she is not for surprises, they prefer to know what's happening and when it is going to happen.
They tend to get more attention and notoriety than any other sibling. Anything a first-born child does is a big deal as far as Mom and Dad and other members of the family are concerned. A common characteristic of a first-born child person is his confidence in being taken seriously by those around him. They are known for their strong powers of concentration, tolerance, and patience, and being organized and conscientious. The list also includes:
perfectionistic
reliable
list makers
critical
serious
schalarly
goal oriented
achiever
self-sacrificing
people pleasers
conservative
supporters of law and order
believer in authority and ritual
legalistic
loyal
self reliant
TIPS FOR MAKING BIRTH ORDER WORK FOR FIRST-BORNS
1. Take smaller bites of life. Do not get involved in too many activities at once. Leave time for yourself.
2. Work on saying no. Know your limits. You can't do everything and please everyone.
3. Remember, your parents may have had higher expectations for you than other siblings. It's fine to do a little less and enjoy life a little more.
4. You are know to ask alot of wuestions and want all the details, this is fine, don't apologize for this trait.
5. You are a cautious, careful person. Don't let people pressure you into jumping into when you would prefer to take your time to make a decision.
6. If you are the serious type, try to develop a sense of humor.
7. Never apologize for being conscientious and overorganized.
Being the mother of a typical first-born is an endeavor in patience. She must always "know" everything before she "does" anything. But her need for control and perfection will serve her well as she enters her career.
To all of the first-born children whose parents tied all of their hopes and dreams in, we are sorry for using you as the bench mark for whether or not we were good parents. But, if we failed with the first child, no one could have convinced us that we would have done better with the rest of the children. Parents have a strong need to "get it right" and we do not get practice children. The positive of this parenting experiment is the fact that the first born have leadership skills that can take them a long way in life. Having high expectations are good but should be framed within healthy obtainable goals. Hopefully, parents don't dream the impossiblble dream for their kids, but give them the encouragement to dream for themselves.
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