True Power

True Power

Wednesday, November 19, 2014


This post absolutely shows white people do not have a clue when they are being racist and offensive. See if you can see what I mean about a white guy being clueless.

                                 White people need to stop trying to have Black hairstyles.  
Seriously, this is one of the things that pisses me off most in the world. If you’re white and you’re thinking of getting cornrows or microbraids or dreadlocks, STOP NOW. Your hair is just plain not suited for it! White people’s hair is fine and holds a lot of moisture. If white people get dreads, their hair molds! And that can cause serious scalp infections! And if white people get their hair braided, it can cause their hair to fall out. Literally, it is just not healthy for your hair.

But besides that—IT’S NOT FUCKING COOL. Like, if a black person wants to do their hair these ways, they will be branded a “thug” or otherwise judged as a dangerous person because of racialized and reified (if you don’t know what reified means, look it up) stereotypes. And so you want to get a hairstyle that is NOT EVEN SUITED TO YOUR HAIR TYPE, while a person whose hair is actually suitable cannot get that hairstyle without being judged, you’re completely ignoring your privilege.
Like wtf. It’s not as simple as, “I thought it was cool so I did it,” because the cold hard truth is that if that’s all you thought about, then you’re admitting that you didn’t bother to think about a) whether your hair was right for it, b) whether you would be treated differently because of your hair and c) how your race affects the way that your hair is received/viewed by others. You have the privilege of not having to think about your race, you have the privilege of not having to worry that you will jeopardize your job by making this (bad) decision.

Black people’s hair is coarse and well suited for dreads or braids and these styles are viewed as signs of a thug or a dangerous body because in our society we have invented and reinforced the idea that black people are dangerous and violent. Black people are often forced to make their hair look more “acceptable” to white people and are often criticized for natural looks. And when you decide to take on those hairstyles—even thought they are wrong for you—you’re ignoring their struggle and being an asshole.

Basically—stop trying to take something that doesn’t belong to you. Stop deciding that race doesn’t matter. Think about shit before you do it and stop insisting that being a white person with dreads or braids is not racist. It is and you look like an idiot.

**If I read this correctly, the writer was admonishing white people for throwing their white priviledge away by wearing a hairstyle that makes them a thug. Was that what you gleaned from this post and how he tried to say it was offensive to blacks for white people to wear the hairstyles because they were appropriating their thug status??? REALLY???? Get a bleeping clue. You should be angry about your false sense of wisdom and total lack of ability to speak on behalf of a black race/culture. Stay in your lane PLEASE. Face the fact that your race is leaving the herd going after all things black; which is truly what your rant is about.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Sack Cloth and Ashes are no longer in Style

I don't care what you say about me; even bad publicity is good publicity 

1 Timothy 2:9 ESV 

Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire,

The Bible holds so many rules and regulations for women. For me my style is an expression of who I am or at times who I am striving to be. I have said, my apparel speaks to others, including strangers, long before I utter a word. How many times have you heard a man complain how long it takes a woman to get dressed? How many times have you changed outfits when getting ready for an event?

Social media has joined in the STYLE game with men and women posting pictures of their outfits. The people go wild hitting the like buttons on cutting edge fashion. The outfits alone do not draw the masses. It is a combination of clothes and attitude that sells the onlooker on the clothing items.
Photographers and models get in various twisted positions to get the perfect picture. And when everything falls into place you have a perfect picture selling anything and everything to the populous beginning with just the right clothing items. Need a family car - put the people in the pitch in everyday general outer wear. Need to sell a sports car - put the people in the pitch in classy upscale clothing. Need to sell a motorcycle - leather clothing items required.

What do the style described in the Bible passage tell you about the person? I say it screams PAY ME NO ATTENTION. I know others will argue it is modesty, purity, or humbleness. I say invisibility is the goal. How invisible must a woman be. She has also been instructed not to speak in church 1 Corinthians 14:34 "Women should be silent during the church meetings. It is not proper for them to speak. They should be submissive, just as the law says".

What is self control clothing items? Are there clothing items that MAKE you lose control when you wear them? I know you are saying there are clothes that say HERE I AM AND I AM SEXUAL, but is demonstrating sexuality being out of control? I would argue people who are color blind and mix the wrong colors or patterns together can be someone who lacks self control. I mean come on how hard can it be not to clash like that? Lacking self control is adding another piece of jewelry like Mr. T. is showing a lack of control.

How do you avoid costly attire? Inflation man. I remember when I was a child and my family would go shoe shopping for back to school. Back in the day my mom could find a nice pair of shoes for me costing $5.00. Now, shoe prices do go to the extreme. Should the woman wearing designer shoes be seen as sinful? Do her shoes tell you of her sins? Is the woman in the $20.00 pair of shoes a modest, self controlled woman?
Gold and pearls belong to the wicked? Are we supposed to use the guidelines of biblical attire to judge the person's character and heart by a gold ring or string of pearls. It would seem we should. If I am to decipher this passage on face value it would seem wearing poverty is an outward symbol of how religious one may be. Is the look of poverty, what we who believe, be clothed in? Should our street style be "I choose not to draw any attention by fashion but to draw attention for the lack of fashion?" No matter what you wear a statement is being sent.

I have become jaded with these outward appearances because everybody is trying to pitch (sell) something to the masses through clothing or style. What is being sold is completely vain. Clothing manipulates whether it is for good or evil. A person can be selling a fantasy or lie with clothing. I find it strange the clothing code is not for both men and women. It is the woman who must put forth the effort to use her body as her billboard. It is not self control through clothing choice but power through clothing choices. a person has the power to say who they are through clothes.

My mind begins to wander when I see the dressed down look of lack of color or accessories on a woman. I wander what is she trying to sell with nothing. Yes, my impression jumps to religious connections when I see a woman without makeup and wearing orthopedic shoes just to make me want to steal her shoes and burn them. I also wander if she is abused or have been abused in her life to want to hide behind drabness. Modest clothing makes me wonder what scar is being hid.

Oh stop pretending that when you see women in prairie clothes you don't assume they belong to a cult.

I have to search my bias and ask myself do I recoil at this biblical fashion statement because I myself am not a woman who desires to wear respectable clothing or am I offended because my respectability does not rely on my outer garments? Either way, just as I am judging one's appearance, I am being judged for my appearance. It all boils down to judgement and if you are going to base your expression of your being solely on what others decide to label you as.

Take time to howl at the moon screaming yes, my clothes initially define me, but never believe I am the summation of items of clothing.

Give me points and adulation for my style because your opinion matters that much to me - never.

*****side note: prostitutes were recognizable because they braided their hair and wore jewelry. Surely that does not still hold true in our psyche in this day and age.*****

Thursday, November 13, 2014


I had a melt down. I felt it coming.

Now that I am writing about my emotional state or to be accurate, most anticipated recovery, my melt down should be correctly referred to as my melt up.

Let me begin at the beginning. My beginning begins with the always, never disappointing, wretched Facebook.

Yes. Facebook is wretched. Facebook is the extension - continuation of that all so beloved high school experience we have come to know and overtly ignore. The always easy to access experience of the low brow yet titillating to the leader - social group. The social group or clique is known by all with pain and loathing. Social groups or cliques are not only for our youths, but also for the adult who dabble in this wolf in sheep's clothing social media called Facebook.

It was around July when I started noticing with unbelievable boredom, how people I had friended on Facebook spent hours on end saying stuff without saying anything. Posting cute quotes, wise sayings, and the ever never ending "Like if you love Jesus." I tried to find the cyber definition of these posted and reposted sayings; which do not fall into the definition of meme or gif, but, do fall into the realm of aggravating as hell.

I love Jesus. I am for Jesus. But, I hate seeing over 75 posts a day insisting I demonstrate publicly, by clicking on a like button or on a share button, my true spiritual leaning and gut feeling each second about Jesus each day all day every day. I am comfortable enough to declare right here and now: my love for Jesus does not change every five minutes and I do not to prove it to others in any way.

It was this one day when 75% of my friends on Facebook had Jesus it up for hours on end in rapid fire: Jesus loves you, Jesus died for you, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus to the point where I felt like I would be some how looked down upon for not liking, sharing, or posting in like manner.

There it was the nexus of my melt up. I was about to start wanting to belong to the Jesus clique. I began to wonder what group would the Jesus kids (by kids I mean adults) put me into if I did not do as they did? Would I be considered a nonChristian? Would I be shunned as Satan's spawn and if any one liked anything I posted would they surely catch fire or believe they had soiled themselves in some way by sharing a thumbs up with me? Would anyone like anything I said at all that was not Jesus-esque?

I began to think about FAKING IT to fit into the group. And yes, that is when I felt like saying "You know what - I do not have to belong to your group. I am grown."

But my last post was a final attempt to reach just one person, (who in a wonderful twist of my never dull fate turned out to be myself), before self was sacrificed. It was me who was in danger of self sacrificed and being replaced with another voiceless member of the cool kids page constantly saying (posting) something and yet saying nothing. My final post was wrapped in a last gasp of defiance to be different proudly. My last post asked; "Do you ever feel like just taking the mask off and howling at the moon?" To me the mask is the action of copying, following mindlessly a crafted ideal of acceptability. The mask perpetuates a day spent on Facebook being validated by likes and shares of a clique generated sense of being loved. Truth be told we have used Jesus as our cover for many things. Can our need for attention to belong become a pretense of liking Jesus when each like Jesus gets makes us feel some kind of way? Is it the account holder, who does their best to generate hundreds of likes for Jesus a day, that mean girl or jock who has found a way to separate as was done in high school?

I met the slippery slope. I stared the slippery slope in the eye. I refused to lose my little girl who wants to belong and yet yearns to follow her own path. The vulnerable high school girl who lingers still - escaped being sucked up into the world of reposting generalized verbiage. Verbiage Facebook users use to send  smoke signals dictating  who belongs where continually guided by high school standards of operation. I refused to let my essence to be kidnapped by the insidious nature of wanting to belong or to feel loved even if it is love by "like"generated by 4,000 plus cyber friends. 

So, today I say I had a melt up. I decided to get rid of Facebook and make sure to take every opportunity to howl at the moon and have people just stop and stare at me and declare openly I could never be a part of their social group whether it is on Facebook or in any ecohigh school type climate plopped down anywhere.

I felt my little girl inside of me being lured away to some place forever lacking security and genuine love and I Amber Alerted myself refusing to be carried off. I must howl and hear my voice whether or not I have well formed words at the time of my pending demise of my autonomous thought, feeling, belief. I will howl at the moon to remind myself to remain free.

I howl at the moon for those who do not have the courage or strength today to how. I howl at the definition of the word CLIQUE. A clique is a social group most often seen in junior high or high school settings, and generally more often noted among girls than boys. However, adults can certainly belong to a clique as well, and one might see these characteristics displayed particularly in the upper echelons of society. The adult group might also be called a “set.”

Generally, the clique is organized among younger children by those who appear to have enough in common to befriend each other. Unfortunately, friendship can quickly give way to power struggle, peer pressure and ostracization of those outside the group. In fact, outsiders targeted by a clique may be subject to insults and bullying, which can be psychologically damaging.

Often the group has a defined leader, though leadership may change from time to time. The clique may extend informal membership to younger girls in order to perpetuate it beyond the original members remaining in a particular school setting. This group may be seen as the “in crowd," and may have a corresponding male group with which they exclusively socialize.

Monday, August 4, 2014


I have heard this over and over again from someone who just said something racist. What do I have to do to get you to believe you are RACIST????????????

I am beyond frustrated. No, it is not my goal in life to prove people are racist, but if someone says you just said something racist; you should believe it.

Today someone tried to tell me people get racism, prejudice, and discrimination mixed up. I just didn't even go there because the subject was: "My family would pitch a fit if I dated a black woman." Come on! Give me a break! Do I really have anything confused here???

Just for fun let's look at the definition of racism and prejudice: PREJUDICE
preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.
"English prejudice against foreigners"
RACISM   The belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish as inferior or superior to another race or races = prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior.
So prejudice is racism defined??? Or prejudice allows you to escape the 'WHY' to your racism? 
Any way you slice it. Just be aware if someone tells you that you made a racist comment; just don't repeat what you said if you care about not being racist. I found the below site which has ghetto pick up lines or what I typed in for experiment sake and ghetto pick up lines showed up instead "Pick Up Lines By Black Men." I ask you: "Would black men actually use any of these pick up lines and are they racist?" Or are these just wrong no matter what man says them?

"You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain shortages? Well I don't even own a car"
 "Hey excuse me...I know you pregnant but when you drop that one off...ID LOVE to put another one in u" 
"Honey just by seeing you from behind I know you're a well-rounded person"
 "Ok, I'm here. What are your other two wishes?"
 "I have good credit"
 Hey, are your parents beavers, cuz DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
 "Girl you be the 6, I'll be the 9, that's only time you'll be less than a dime."
 yo gurl, I heard your good at math... Cause your legs are always divided. 
"I'm digging u like a shovel ma!" Are you from the ghetto cause I'm about to ghetto hold of that ass 
Watch your step gurl....don't want you to fall in love with someone else. 
 Hey do you have an inhaler? Cause you got that ass ma!  
 "Aye girl let me put my direct in yo deposit!" Do you like to draw?
 "Just get in tha car, bitch... im famous" 
"A genie'll come out of my penis ... For real tho but only if u rub it hard enuff"
 "You a good girl, u jus need a thug in ya life to treat u rite!"
 "The only nigguh flya than you .. is yo reflection"
"Was your Dad a traffic cop? Because you got fine written all over you."
 Why pay $5 when you can't get this footlong for free
 Girl, yuh look like a bottle a maple syrup....THICK.
 "I got arrested the other day. [For what?] For having two guns and a six pack."
 "Dont worry bout me baby im gettin sum measurements im bout to lay some pipe"
 "Hi, i'm wasted but this condom in my pocket doesn't have to be."
 "Hey beautiful.. let me scan ur barcode "smile and show dimple"
 "Is this ur real hair cause i saw it on a mannequin in the hair store but it was real expensive!!! can i have ur number?"
 "I claim you in the name of JESUS!"
 "I'm lookin' for a girl like my mother. She knew her place. But in a good way." 
 "Theres somethin wrong wit yur phone... my numbers not in it"
 "I Like My Girls Like My Koolaid "Sweet And Go Down Easy.."
 "Hey girl you got a father? ....Want a daddy?" Hey baby, I'd love to f**k the shit out of your fake weave Do you like Pizza, cuz I want a pizza dat ass That ass so fat, you could pull a brothas eyes out with the gravity? "If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?" 
 "I dont care that u used to be fat, just come here and let me eat that cat!" 
 "If what matters is on the inside... Howsabout I get on the inside?"
 Hey Shawty, do I stand a chance with you or shall I just move on to your fat friend? 
 "If you were a car, I'd wax and ride you all over town" 
"Who yo hair dresser? Tell her I apologize for messing up her work" 
"AYE that my name tattooed on your back"
 "If fine was a felony you'd be on death row."
 "Baby you thicker than a novel, and I wanna read all yo pages" 
Aww, girl, I'm gonna have to put you on my "To Do" List!
 Damn u got a big A S S !! 
 Girl you look so good, i wish i could plant a whole field of yall!
 "Your so hot you must've started all of globle warming"
 "Is there a fire in here or are we just standing too close"
 Girl you're sweet as candy, can I taste u "Now And Later"
 "So what directory should I look for your heart's number?"
 "Are u in my class? Because I really need help studying that anatomy" 
"Don't worry I'll look better after a few drinks"
 "If I was in your 1st grade class I would have played house with you"

Be My Baby Boo

Okay the journey begins. You are in love. You go to the church and say those eternal words "I Do" and the two become one.

After the honeymoon the terror begins to set in or it may be on a year delay. I mean, come on, the first year of marriage is centered on SEX and lots of it. It has become a standard joke to put in a penny for each time you have sex the first year of marriage and to take a penny out the following years you have sex in the marriage. No one is afraid of running out of pennies indicating there will be plenty of good red hot passionate spontaneous sex the first year of marriage then it's downhill from there.

But, for now lets stick with the first year of marriage - the new entity formed from two separate beings that are now one. We know what a new born is apt to go through the first year of life. Does a marriage go through the same thing? The one important thing to remember: Babies grow and change at an astounding pace.
 Below data from
  • Smile. Early on, it will be just to herself. But within three months, she’ll be smiling in response to your smiles and trying to get you to smile back at her.
  • Raise her head and chest when on her tummy.
  • Track objects with her eyes and gradually decrease eye crossing.
  • Open and shut her hands and bring hands to her mouth.
  • Grip objects in her hands.
  • Take swipes at or reach for dangling objects, though she usually won’t be able to get them yet.
  • Roll over from front to back or back to front. Front-to-back usually comes first.
  • Babble, making sounds that can sound like real language.
  • Laugh.
  • Reach out for and grab objects (watch out for your hair), and manipulate toys and other objects with her hands.
  • Sit up with support and have great head control.
  • During this time period, your baby may:
  • Start to crawl. This can include scooting (propelling around on his bottom) or “army crawling” (dragging himself on his tummy by arms and legs), as well as standard crawling on hands and knees. Some babies never crawl, moving directly to from scooting to walking.
  • Sit without support.
  • Respond to familiar words like his name. He may also respond to “No” by briefly stopping and looking at you, and may start babbling "Mama" and "Dada."
  • Clap and play games such as patty-cake and peekaboo.
  • Learn to pull up to a standing position.
  • Begin feeding herself. Babies at this developmental stage master the “pincer grasp“ -- meaning they can hold small objects such as O-shaped cereal between their thumb and forefinger.
  • Cruise, or move around the room on her feet while holding onto the furniture.
  • Say one or two words, and "Mama" and "Dada" become specific name for parents. The average is about three spoken words by the first birthday, but the range on this is enormous.
  • Point at objects she wants in order to get your attention.
  • Begin “pretend play” by copying you or using objects correctly, such as pretending to talk on the phone. 
  • Take her first steps. This usually happens right around one year, but it can vary greatly. 
As you can see the baby is learning how to operate itself. the smallest tasks have significant meaning: smiling, reaching for an object, raising and lowering the body, responding to familiar words and commands. the baby is not yet ready to walk and choose directions, it is just gaining the ability to begin to move towards desired out comes. Playing peak-a-boo and patty-cakes is all encompassing and exciting. Just recognizing and moving it's hand is stimulating so you can see why SEX in the first year of marriage is the most awesome game the 'infant' has going on at the time.

The infant itself is the star. It sees nothing to the left or right of itself at this time. It is completely involved with its own self. Kind of blissful if you think about it.

So in the anatomy of a marriage we have the two people joined as one who enjoys smiling, playing games, just learning how to use it's hands to reach, grasp, hold, point, and manipulate objects. The new 'marriage' is just now learning how to make sounds and form simple words. It does not yet know how to stand and walk. No real decisions are being made at this point.

For parents watching their babies in this time of growth is filled with joy. Parents do everything to help their kids cross the milestones of using hands, talking, and sitting up and we find in the married world; family and friends are reacting to the 'marriage' in the same way.

Our newly formed baby is own its way to walking after the honeymoon phase dies down and the infant stage is passed. What is in store for the marriage once infancy is mastered if it is.

What if the 'marriage' does not learn how to form words or identify commands? What if the 'marriage' does not learn how to track things with its eyes and follow along? What if the 'marriage' does not learn how to control and use its body parts correctly in this all important play stage? In the next post we will look at what happens when development in this stage does not go as it should.  

Saturday, July 26, 2014

The Beginning of LOVE or just SEX

Many years ago a thought came to me about being in love and married and how people seem to have gotten it wrong. I thought about the dreaded "Seven Year Itch" people would prophesy about happening in a marriage. If a couple survived it then they would have to face the second cousin itch; "Eleventh Year itch" which appears to be even more treacherous.
With such dismaying images swirling in my head I wanted my mind to go back to the floating on clouds wedding day and to the bliss of sensuous lovemaking during the honeymoon phase. I quickly, without effort, remembered the phrase "The Honeymoon Won't Last Forever." and again became dismayed at the short lifespan of happiness a marriage seems to have. Yes, I have seen the elderly couple together proud they made it for 50+ years. I still have to wonder, did they live each year hopelessly in love or did they survive a marriage and SURPRISE! we are still here together with a joint endgame in mind - "To die peacefully." Now the elderly couple are as one - same mind, same goal, same thought - they have truly reached the stage of maturity and becoming one.
It is at the above revelation when I began to ponder: "Is a marriage like the birth of a newborn?" "Does a marriage have to go through infancy, adolescence, adulthood, and old age?" And if so, how could I visualize it and show a comparison? Excitement began to build. Could I take my favorite Human Growth and Development theorist Erik Erikson and apply what he discovered about an individual entity to a newly born/ formed organism of two becoming ONE (marriage) to create a healthy - loving - sustained throughout life - relationship? Is a marriage a singular entity having to go through human growth and development? I say yes and plan to prove my own hypothesis and write a book on it. I ask you to go with me on this discovery and contribute with feed back or personal
experiences along the way.

A working title for this endeavor: Human Growth and Anatomy of Your Love Marriage. (this is very subject to change). Bellow are the stages we go through as individuals according to Erickson. My hypothesis will examine a marriage at these same stages and how each individual is behaving, responding, interacting with spouse while in this stage. I ask you to hold onto your seats it may get wild up in here at times. But I am so looking forward to this new project along with your input I believe we are onto some ground breaking work here.