True Power

True Power

Monday, May 23, 2011

HEY YOU!!!!! What's in a name?

I don't know how many years it has been exactly, but there was a time when women were addressed by the name of their husband e.g. Mrs. Tom Jones. I saw just the other day a title of a Christian article offering the subject of whether or not married Christian women should keep their surname verses taking on their husband's surname. I didn't read the article because I did not want to know the Christian spin on the subject or maybe I didn't read it because I believed I knew the Christian position on the subject. Now, I wish I had read it.

I began to think more about "What does a name say about us as women?" Does taking our husband's name make any dramatic statement one way or the other? I have often posted that one of the biggest signs that a man truely loves you is when he wants/does give you and your future children his last name; he is willing to proclaim to the world 'I love HER enough for her to be a complete part of me by sharing my name.' Lovely sentiment when viewed through my rose colored glasses. I guess there are those who will hold to the old truth of the surname being a monicur of ownership and possession.

Let's move from surnames to first names. I read the credits for movies and televisions shows and I can barely pronounce the names. The more difficult the name is to spell or say, the prouder the mother seems to be. In my family, my girls and I agreed we wanted the world to know our names and thus wanted our names to be easy to spell and pronounce. I guess vanity has its place.

I made a truly dumb statement once "Women are so hormonal while pregnant and these names they choose for their babies would not seem as cleaver once the hormones settle. Women should not be allowed to name their babies until after they are born." Did you catch it? Yeah, notice how cleaver I was without raging hormones.

I think I have said in prior posts how proud I am of my name: DOROTHY. In my youth I dreamed of the day when I would become an adult and petition the court to change my name. Somewhere along the way, I gained respect for the name I was coronated with at the day of my birth. Somewhere along the line I became DOROTHY.
Dorothy \d(o)-ro-thy\ as a girl's name is pronounced DOR-a-thee. It is of Greek origin, and the meaning of Dorothy is "gift of God". This ia how the Greek phrase Δώρων Θεός meaning "Gift of God looks  Theodora is its synonym. Literary: the heroine of Frank Baum's "The Wonderful World of Oz", published in 1900. Writers Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Sayers; actresses Dorothy Gish, Dorothy Lamour are a few famous Dorothys.


Dorothy has 40 variant forms: Dasha, Dasya, Dodie, Dody, Doe, Doll, Dolley, Dolli, Dollie, Dolly, Doortje, Dora, Doretta, Dori, Dorika, Dorinda, Dorit, Dorita, Doritha, Dorlisa, Doro, Doronit, Dorota, Dorotea, Dorotha, Dorothea, Dorothee, Dortha, Dorrit, Dorthea, Dorthy, Dory, Dosha, Dosya, Dot, Dottey, Dottie, Dotty, Tea and Thea.

Dorothy is a very popular first name for women (#10 out of 4276) and also a very popular surname or last name for all people (#19719 out of 88799). (1990 U.S. Census) 
 
My Greek name meaning 'Gift of God' has put some pressure on me. I asked myself "Was I born a Gift of God or am I supposed to live up to and become or do something worthy to be called a Gift of God?"
 
If words have power, as the Bible tells us, there is power in the words we speak; we can murder with our words. While on the subject of the bible, we are given definitions of the names of key people in the Bible. Many of their destinies were in line with their names and some names were changed as their destiny/purpose changed.
 
From 1880-1950, Dorothy was a popular name; ranking in the top 5 of names for girls. In 2000 the name bottomed out.
In Hebrew my name is spelled :  דּוֹרוֹתִּי
 
Looks pretty good in Chinese           桃乐丝
The first section or character of my name in Chinese means peach or a surname.
The second section or character means Happy, glad, joyful, cheerful.  Enjoy, be glad to, love, find pleasure in; laugh, be amused.  Pleasure, enjoyment.  Gladly, happily, willingly, or a surname.
The third section or character of my name means Silk; a threadlike thing; a tiny bit. A unit of weight (=0.0005 grams).
 
Even in numerology my name has meaning. Numerology is an ancient science which was developed by Pythagoras. Numerology offers an insight into the personality by assigning numeric values to the letters contained in names. The results provide the hidden meaning of the name Dorothy. Each letter contained in the name is assigned a number. Every number is associated with specific characteristics. Work out the value of each of the letters in your name using the following table:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

A B C D E F G H I

J K L M N O P Q R

S T U V W X Y Z

Example: Cathy

C A T H Y       B R O W N E

3 1 2 8 7          2 9 6 5 5 5

Add together all the numbers of the name Cathy (3+1+2+8+7) = 21 and Browne (2+9+6+5+5+5) = 32

Then add together the values 21+32 = 53

Then add together 5+3 = 8
The numerological value, or Name Number, of the example name is therefore 8. Use this method of numerology to calculate the value of your full name and find the hidden meanings and characteristics of the name Dorothy together with any middle names and your last name. ***My number is 1 when using my first, middle, and last name.

Number Meaning & Characteristics


1 Competitive - a leader, independent, strength, creative and original

2 Diplomatic - friendly, tactful, peaceful, gentle and sensitive

3 Optimistic - Easygoing, sociable, spontaneous and humorous

4 Traditionalist - Determined, reliable, conservative, activist and organised

5 Creative - Free spirited, artistic, enquiring, innovative and influential

6 Contributor - Responsible, careful, conventional and reliable

7 Inventive - Imaginative, resourceful, eccentric, quiet and thoughtful

8 Organizer - Leadership skills, planner, strong, high achiever and sound judgment

9 Humanitarian - Compassionate, caring, charitable and civilised


The numerical value of just DOROTHY is 5:
Numerological Analysis: Represents people who are impulsive, instinctive, like changes, dynamic, need freedom and space with unconventional personality. Able to do several things at once, adaptive, charismatic and acceptable in society. Have a sense of distinction and sense of criticism. Like freedom and tend to lack a sense of time.

It is evident that when you say my name, a name I once hated, you are saying a mouthful. It doesn't have any uniquie vowel combinations and it is not a compilation of my mother's and father's name, but I think it was the perfect choice.








 

Monday, May 16, 2011

Money Talks

There are many Bible passages that have been misquoted over and over again and one Bible misquote I have heard often is: "The love of money is evil." We may say we see the damage the love of money has manifested in the lives of celebrities and everyday people we come into contact with in our lives. But, I still would like to clear up the misquote and set the record straight. "The love of money is the ROOT of ALL evil" 1 Timothy 6:10.

With the addition of the word 'root' and 'all' our perception of money should change and we should guard ourselves from the pitfalls that the love of money brings. Many people are in an uproar, not because they are dirt poor, but because they have decreased a level or two in their economic soundness. Anyone who tries to convince you that poverty is fun would probably benefit from some sort of professional counseling. But, when we allow our financial state to determine our amount of joy in life as a whole, then we must look at what defines our happiness.

While thinking about money and the way we depend upon it and use it, I wondered was there a difference in the way women used money and the way men used money. And the answer is a resounding yes. I found there are 5 top ways each sex use their money (after taking care of the basic necessities that are common to both sexes such as rent and food) and found the differences a little eye opening.

MEN: Men don’t spend, they invest. Men don’t want something, they need it. Theirs is a future-money orientation. Men are trained to fix and provide, so they view money as a means to capture and accumulate things to add more value.

Men will spend their money on investments, entertainment, women/online dating/love, hobbies and sports, and betting and gambling.

WOMEN: Women are trained to nurture and seek acceptance and so view money as a means to create a lifestyle. Women spend on things that enhance day-to-day living. Theirs is a now-money orientation. Women are the collectors of stuff and are taught that what they need to get through life is approval. They have to look good, act good and be good.

An average woman will spend 8.5 years of her life shopping. So you guessed it, shopping tops the list of how and where women spend their money. Next we have beauty, health and fitness, love/online dating, and funishings.

There you have it. Each of the sexes have distinct spending habits to which the marketing masses can target each of the sexes in specific ways. Our purchases are the fruit that are springing forth from the branches of a root. Remember the LOVE of money is the ROOT evidenced and so I ask does our purchases serve as an indicator of our EVIL? For the man would it be the deep need for more and more money and for the woman would it be the purchase of unending beauty?

With more and more money men become more and more powerful actually buying people's opinion and loyalty; obtaining the perfect trophy wife and trading her in when she no longer fits the bill. Men even become workaholics to the neglect of wife and children. Notice gambling creeps into the bootom of the list; a force of distruction.

With more money women spend countless thousands for the perfect nose, smile, breast, butt, tummy and the list goes on and on what a woman is willing to do to her body surgically to obtain the idea of youthful beauty. When a woman will inject a poison into her face in an effort not to have wrinkles; then you know just how important beauty is to her. Not only is she interested in being beautiful, she is interested in being surrounded in beauty. I have never ceased to be amazed at a group of women telling each other how many men they are dating and which bill the man is paying freeing up money to get her hair and nails done.

Well, I have not escaped that statistic of 8.5 years of shopping. I have a love of shoes and I have contributed to the millions the make-up industry pulls in yearly. We often want to be equal to men in all things. Do we want the men's top 5 to be ours? Do we want to trade an obsession for beauty with an obsession for status?

As a group (women) we are saying alot when we are not even giving a clear voice to a subject. Our spending habits speak for us and I do not know if we are purposefully driving what our voice is saying. As I said, businesses and services follow our spending trends and cater to those statistical needs. Our spending power influences society. Our use of money actually speaks volumes about our heart. We ask everyone to see us as a serious player in the world, but someone who is so focused on looks and overall appearances may not feel capable or worthy if she doesn't look just so. Is the fruit of our root beauty alone?

   

Friday, May 6, 2011

A Mother's Worth

With Mother's Day just around the corner, my thoughts began to turn to all of the things I do and have done for my children and family in general as a mother. I see all of the fuzzy feelings and tender hearted commercials trying to tell children what would be the perfect gift for mom. But is there an appropriate gift to give the one who gives their all.

I thought about Jesus and how he laid his life down for humanity so they could have a shot at eternal life. The giving of self so fully for others - others you have never met, yet was willing to die for. Moms are not up there with Jesus, but there is no other example of giving their all, including their life for someone they love, as a mother.

I must admit there are some terrible mothers out there. It isn't an easy job. but, even with their imperfections; their children love them deeply. So, for me to say 'there are some terrible moms' would be too flippant, judgemental, and down right horrible. So I separate the less than perfect mom, my category, from criminal moms.
I love listening to the commercials encouraging people to adopt. They target in on the fact that you do not have to be cool, a rocket scientist, or child psychologist to be a loving person willing to adopt a child needing to be loved.

I wanted to take the time to appreciate those who are in this institution of motherhood. Sometimes it is a thankless position of late hours and few seeable benefits. But, upon reflection it turns out to be filled with benefits. Nothing can ever compare to that first whiff of innocence-newness I inhaled the first time I held each of my daughters for the first time; that was priceless. All of the funny faces they made at new discoveries. The laughter that tickled my ears at the simplest of things they found to be hillarious and I had long ago took for granted. If I were offered millions for my mother memories, I would turn it down. So to all of the mothers out there; happy mother's day.

So how much is a stay-at-home parent's work really worth? According to Salary.com's 2010 Mother's Day Paycheck for Mom's Job, the time mothers spend performing 10 typical job functions would equate to an annual salary of $117,867 for a stay-at-home mom. Not too shabby eh?

Heather Chrudimsky states that a stay-at-home moms perform many necessary duties, have important responsibilities that serve as the glue in a family/household that keeps it together and running smoothly. Their duties don't run on a 9 to 5 schedule and there is no punch out time. Below is her listing of a mother's duties.

10. Administrative assistant: run errands, answer the phone, pay bills, fill out paperwork, organize and schedule activities,
9. Chef: whether it's breakfast, lunch or dinner. Cooking responsibilities are on the shoulders of the stay-at-home - all while taking care of the kids.
8. Tutor/teacher: Time to bring out the math, science, spelling, etc. skills back out. No matter what the age, homework help is a staple in a stay-at-home mom's day.
7. Chauffeur: Whether it's to school, choir, dance, sports practice, dentist, doctor, friend's house, park, grocery store, etc., stay-at-home moms spend just about as much time in their vehicle as a truck driver.
6. Daycare provider: Kiddos are obviously a stay-at-home mom's top priority. Making sure they are busy, safe and engaged is a constant.
5. Referee: Literally and figuratively. Children fight and it is the job of mom to make sure no one is hurt and lessons are learned.
4. Doctor/nurse: Band-aids, ointment and mommy kisses - nothing cures a boo-boo better.
3. Psychiatrist: Whether is it helping little ones understand their growing emotions or healing a first broken heart - mom is always there to offer a shoulder to cry on, and give advice of course.
2. Maid/homemaker: Just call them domestic divas - name the cleaning chore, stay-at-home moms have done it.
1. Family mascot/boss: Regardless of a faimly's makeup, moms are the family centerpiece, keeping the family together, making sure everything runs smoothly and keeping everyone happy.

Seems like mothers might need regular vacation time.

What ever you decide to give your mother for Mother's Day; expensive or not, make sure you smother her with 'thank yous' and 'love yous' because this is music to a mother's ears.

A Woman's Secret Desire For a mate Uncovered

Women are not in a rush to say ‘I do’ anymore and when they do finally find that special someone they are willing to marry, you may be surprised to know the science or lack thereof in how he becomes become the lucky little fellow. Below are some statistics on the marital condition of the U.S. and a few looks at how women select their mates.



by Mark Mather and Diana Lavery

(September 2010) Marriage rates have dropped precipitously among young adults ages 25 to 34 during the past decade and the decline has accelerated since the onset of the recession, according to PRB's analysis of new data from the U.S. Census Bureau's 2009 American Community Survey (ACS) and 2010 Current Population Survey (CPS). The data suggest that more young couples are delaying marriage or foregoing matrimony altogether, likely as an adaptive response to the economic downturn and decline in the housing market.

Between 2000 and 2009, the share of young adults ages 25 to 34 who are married dropped 10 percentage points, from 55 percent to 45 percent, according to ACS data. During the same period, the percentage who have never been married increased sharply, from 34 percent to 46 percent. In a dramatic reversal, the proportion of young adults in the United States who have never been married now exceeds those who are married. Among the total population ages 18 and older, the proportion married dropped from 57 percent in 2000 to 52 percent in 2009. This is the lowest percentage recorded since information on marital status was first collected by the U.S. Census Bureau more than 100 years ago. Among women, the proportion married dropped below 50 percent (to 49.9 percent), so the number of unmarried women (including those who are separated, widowed, divorced, and never married) outnumber married women, possibly for the first time in U.S. history. In 2009, there were an estimated 59.5 million adult women who were married, compared with 59.8 million women in other marital categories.

Many people who are classified as single are actually in cohabiting relationships with opposite- or same-sex partners. In fact, the sharp decline in marriage has been accompanied by a rapid increase in the number of cohabiting couples, as reported by the U.S. Census Bureau in September, 2010.4 Cohabitation has been on the rise for several decades, but the Census Bureau links the recent increase in cohabiting couples to rising unemployment rates and growing economic uncertainty, especially among young men. Given the scope of the recent recession, many more couples are likely to choose cohabitation over marriage in the coming years

As much as we love our independence we are still a flawed and socially linked if not dependent in matters of the heart. Women pay even more attention than men to what others think about their choice in a partner, according to an Indiana University study described on Jezebel.com.

Not only do they take notice of what their friends think, but they want to know how complete strangers assess their potential partner. It's called "mate choice copying," and it's documented in many other species, especially fish and birds.



Eye candy prevails for surprising reasons. New research suggests that women measure a man's potential as a mate based on the masculinity of his features. The man who has a square jaw and a very well defined brow ridge is considered a great short-term partner because he will be adventurous, fun and exciting. He is not considered a long-term partner because he will likely be too busy with his competitive challenges than he would be on being a good partner. The woman who is looking for a long-term mate will be seeking the man with gentler features, more rounded in the face and with fuller lips. This is a man who would be less likely to cheat on his spouse, abandon them for his adventures or more. Participants in the study overwhelmingly defined the men with the most masculine features as the men with the greatest risk.

Romantically and statistically, when you look at the rebellious male figure in a story - his chiseled, square jaw and his emphasized brow ridges define him. He is extremely masculine and he is extremely difficult to entreat into a long-term relationship. According to other studies in psychology, women tend to view men with very masculine features as great flings, but hardly long term potential. These are the types of men more likely to abandon them or die young - so while their contribution to offspring is great, their potential as a mate for life is not.

There are other explanations to be offered and part of the answer seems to be how much your prospective partner looks like your dad. This is according to researchers at Durham University led by Lynda Boothroyd, who have shown that women who have good childhood relationships with their fathers are more likely to select partners whose faces resemble those of their dads.

The researchers were looking for evidence of parental sexual imprinting, a sexual preference for individuals that have some of the characteristics of one's parent. A group of women were shown photographs of men's faces and asked to rate their attractiveness. The faces were measured (using calipers) and compared to the women's fathers. The women were also asked to rate their relationships with their fathers, in terms of how much time he spent with them and how emotionally involved he was in their upbringing.

The study follows on from an earlier effort by another researcher, Tamas Bereczkei, showing that men's wives bore a stronger resemblance to the men's mothers if they had had a good relationship with them as children. The phenomenon of parental sexual imprinting has also been heavily studied in many animal species, for example zebra finches.

In the Bible, marriage and family ranks very high. With all the information above it is evident there must first be the ‘desire’ to marry. I hope we women have not given up on this institution because of a long laundry list of everything that must be perfect for us to marry, because *****NEWS FLASH****** marriage isn’t perfect. For more wonderful marriage statistics:

http://www.prb.org/Articles/2010/usmarriagedecline.aspx.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Silence is not always Golden

FIRST AFRICAN AMERICAN PRESIDENT.

Seems like the African American community would have a lot to say on this 21st century occurance, but there is a deafening silence.

We heard with loud voices the everyday American; not the academically elite or career government type, make their needs/demands known all the way to the steps of the capitol. This group was so outspoken and united in spirit and cause untill this grassroot group received their own name.

Time marched on from year one to year two of a never seen before presidency. Another group would come forth demanding to be heard on an issue that could destroy family and livelihood. The second large mass chorus of voices were those of the Hispanic community and those standing up for immigration rights. This group was what one may, if they were the risky type, call a sleeper cell.

The Hispanic population simmered for years underneath the radar of politicians. Soon census tabulations would show the increase of births and thus population of this ethnic group in America. I noticed, the increase and the forcasted first largest minority group by 2010 if not earlier pushing blacks to second place. For those not paying any attention, it occurred earlier and not later. Hispanics have made a large footprint in number and now have new political clout. If they spoke united, they could be heard because they now have voting power. Yes, there are some illegal immigrants, but there is still the power of friends of this ever growing group who are sympathetic to their plight as Americans. A majority of Americans will always root for the underdog. I have been that type of person in my daily life.

Now we are at year three and there are other voices booming across the wide world of the web. This group is the ever come lately group of women. Yes, a mistake was made. Some toes were stepped on; and when those toes are polished and often times in those totally unnecessary 5 inch heels; there should be some screaming or loud discourse going on don't you think?

All of the above groups demonstrating their vocal power before using their voting power have a bone to pick. I am not writing this to say whether it is right or wrong; I'm writing to say HEY there is a silence coming from the black community.

While Obama was running for president, I listened to male Christians try to convince me not to vote for Obama just because he was black and I was black. They said I should not "VOTE EMOTIONALLY." If my eyes did not say it, I finally did. Why do you and how dare you assume that I do not weigh the person running for president by his platform. I have voted several times prior to the first black man on top of the democratic ballot election and if no one cared how I picked my candidate then, why now? I guess in all other elections I was allowed the benefit of doubt trusted on my own to use some kind of reasoning other than the color of their tie to choose who received my vote. Why all of a sudden was I being told to leave emotion at home. Studies show candidates are voted for out of some type of emotion: he will save us, he is the kind of guy you would like to have a beer with, he's just like the everyday person, he fought bravely for our country, etc. Researchers will even tell you, handsome candidates win.

Needless to say, votes were cast, and people other than people sharing his skin color voted and elected Obama president. And now to the not so golden silence.

Where are the voices of pride in the black community? A drug free, never convicted, college educated, married man, loving father, great personality, critical thinker, team player, constitutional law expert is president. This is an example we can point to and tell our children "You can go to college, you can get married and stay married, you can raise your children in your own home, you can retain all of your blackness and still be a viable contributer to your community and nation at large."

The dreams may not be the same, but there is not one thing stopping you from having a dream and moving in the direction of that dream.

We see on a national scale that Obama is having a bumpier ride than most presidents. Some say it is racism some say it is just the discomfort of the economic down turn. But, there have been obstacles for black people and let's face it, that may never change. But, once aagain we see an example of perseverence in President Obama. If he is angered by less than enthusisatic detractors-he marches on still being true to the office he has been appointed to. He has been called names by bullies because that is what bullies do. When the dust settles, they will still be bullies waiting for fresh meat while history books across the world will write about the presidency of Obama. Some wanted the president to get angry to get tough; attributes the balck man have been stereotyped as for centuries. Attributes Obama has demonstrated are a choice not a genetic condition.

This is not about policy or politics. I don't care who you voted for. But not to stand up and cheer that Obama, his wife, and children have finally, visibly shaken the foundation of the stereotype of the 'black person' is worth giving voice to. A politcal commentator said "Obama's presidency is showing us in America and around the world - if this black man is not good enough- than what black man is?" I hope there will be other black people to answer this question. I hope the treatment of this president does not deter the black community from entering other positions of power and status. I hope the BLACK VOICE WILL NOT BE SILENCED.

And as for me, I salute you President Obama for showing our black men that success is not the car you drive, how many women you have, or whether you are shown proper hood respect. Success is mapping out your life, being the best person you can be, working the extra time to go the extra distance, realizing a good woman by your side is an asset and how you treat her is part of your character, and finally realizing what has been true as long as there has been a world: not everyone is going to like/love you, no one is going to make life easy for you, there will be failures and there will be successes, but what is yours, truly yours, no one can take away from you; it will always be part of your make up. This is true no matter your color, race, sex, or political leaning. 

*********A side note********* If you do not believe the first woman president (Hillary Clinton) would not have been disrespected as the first female president, then I need you to keep reading my spin on the world in my past and upcoming blogs. Reminded of the song: It's a Man's World but every man needs a good woman or a girl.

This Could Be Me At Your Next Event

This Could Be Me At Your Next Event
Author And Public Speaker

NEED A SPEAKER FOR YOUR NEXT EVENT?

Do you have an upcoming gardening, church, or women's event planned and need a speaker? Contact me. I can speak on various topics such as:

1. Detangling Ancient Mythology From Christianity
2. The Female Presence In The History Of Christianity
3. Superstitions and Gardening In The 21st Century
4. The Politics Of Prayer: The Bible Speaks
5. African American Geneaology: Pride From The Grave


Contact me at rizerfall@yahoo.com for booking arrangements

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